


Circles

by TddkPowers



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hugging, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 07:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20224318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TddkPowers/pseuds/TddkPowers
Summary: @bi-snapdragon who gave me a prompt on tumblr. I’m @thisonesforkawoshin on tumblr.





	Circles

**Author's Note:**

> @bi-snapdragon who gave me a prompt on tumblr. I’m @thisonesforkawoshin on tumblr.

“Hey, Kaworu. Are you doing alright?” They stopped walking, and Shinji turned to face the other.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” Kaworu was definitely not okay, but he didn’t want to burden Shinji with his problems that he could probably get over in the long run. 

“Because you’re trembling.” The concerned boy pointed towards his pale hand. He pulled his hand up and looked at it in complete bemusement. It was shaking horribly, and looked as if he was in freezing cold water. He felt like he was. “Okay, follow me.” The brunette turned around and started walking in the direction they’d just came.

“But-”

“No, Kaworu you’re not fine. Follow me, I know what to do.” The albino boy felt his heart swell and he wanted to just liquify onto the floor and never reform. He was embarrassed and flattered at the same time, and Shinji really didn’t have to. In this loop, Shinji was somehow even hot-

“Were here, and Kaworu your face is red. Do you have a fever?” The brunette stopped to examine the other, breaking the albino’s trance. He placed his cool hand on the Kaworu’s pale and hot forehead. He struggled not to salivate at the touch and close proximity of his love interest.

“You’re burning up, come inside.” He held the door open for the sick boy in front of him. He walked in feverishly and sat on the floor. Fact it, he wasn’t sick from a virus or bacteria of fungus or anything that lilim get sick from, he wasn’t sick from anything. He was just remembering horrible memories and having glimpses of all his timelines and loops. It was so bad, it was taking a small physical toll on him. What was going on physically was nothing compared to the mental to the mental torment that he was currently reliving.

“It's fine you can sit on my bed.” Kaworu just shook his head and sprawled out on the floor.

“Please, Kaworu you’re going to hurt your back.” It appears the albino was doing more damage by not complying. “Here, i'll carry you.”

“What! No y-you don’t have t-” He was cut off when Shinji scooped him up bridal style. He didn’t hate it, in fact, it was the total opposite. Being swallowed up in Shinji’s arms was the best feeling he had ever experienced. It was the circumstances that were unfavorable. Kaworu was currently going through a silent mental breakdown and his body was refusing to move and had to be carried by the smaller boy. 

“You… you don’t have to.” He had submitted at this point.

“I know, but I want to.” Did… did Kaworu just feel his heart explode? He didn’t even respond. He just kept staring at Shinji with wide eyes, and his body went into complete autopilot. “Now, please tell me what’s wrong so I can help you, Kaworu.”

He just kept staring at the brunette in front of him. “How was he gorgeous, cute, and hot at the same time?” Kaworu thought he might drool just by looking at the other boy. He felt his face and blood start to heat up and he wanted to kiss Shinji so bad at that moment, it was practically unbearable.

“I- um. Bad memories.” He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t cracking open.

“Kaworu.”

“What?”

“You, you should sleep some of it off. I’m sorry I suck at this!” Shinji buried his head in his hands and turned red. “There’s the cute shy guy I fell in love with.” Kaworu thought, his eyes trying to savor the moment and burn it into his memories. 

“Wait, where will you sleep, Shinji?”

“Oh. Well, with… with you of course.” His face somehow got even redder, the flush spread to his chest. The albino thought he might just die right then and there. “Share a bed, with Shinji?” His mind endlessly repeated out if shock, and not apprehension. His face was probably as red as Shinji’s, or completely devoid of color. His entire body felt like he’d just been dunked in an ice bath, and when he adjusted to the temperature, thrown into boiling water. 

“Okay.” The pale boy practically squeaked, trying to hide his excitement.

As the two climbed into Shinji’s bed, they both faced away from each other because they were trying to hide their blush. Both boys soon fell into a restful slumber.

——

“You betrayed me! You betrayed my feelings!” Shinji screamed, he was so weak in this loop. Painfully so. He was too broken to truly live, and was borderline suicidal. 

Looking at him hurt, so he turned away and floated off towards the Terminal dogma, Unit 02 battling in his place.

Everything went so fast. One moment he was floating and the next, Unit 01’s hand was clasped over his entire body, and it was gentle but firm. He could tell that he didn’t want to kill him, but that just made it hurt more. Smiling was his only coping mechanism at this point, and he had nothing left to live for but Shinji. He had no choice but to die.

“Humanity’s fate lies in your hands.” He uttered, trying to make it less painful for the brunette who was on the verge of tears.

“Kaworu we can make it work i promi-”

“Shinji.” Gendo boomed, and that was the last nail in his coffin. The young boy’s eyebrows furrowed and then, everything went black.

——

The albino woke up with a gasp, he was drenched in sweat and was shaking badly. Tears started to flow down his distraught face. He’d hoped to not wake Shinji, but he was a light sleeper so there was no escaping.

“Woah Kaworu you’re up- Oh my god Kaworu what’s wrong!”

He didn’t even look at the boy next to him. He just continued to shake, his pale skin becoming blotchy and soaked with tears. He wasn’t expecting Shinji to initiate anything, much less a hug. Shinji has never, ever been the determined or confident type, even in this loop. But when the brunette hugged him, Kaworu thought he would just liquify into a pile of goop and live out his life as a formless blob. 

The albino grabbed the other boy’s shirt and buried his face in his chest. This would usually be the other way around in the other loops, but not this one, no. “Is this what it’s like to be Shinji?” Kaworu thought. He remembered all the times Shinji and him had been it the same position, but this time, there roles were reversed. Shinji put his face in the others disheveled gray hair.

“It’s okay Kaworu, you can cry. I’m here to help you.” His slow breaths sending even more shivers down Kaworu’s spine. He grasped the others shirt even tighter when Shinji put his hand on his back and started to rub in circles.

He wanted to savor this moment forever and this would be one of his favorite memories. The time that he got to cry into Shinji’s chest while the other comforted him and told him it was okay.

Kaworu has never cried this hard before. Actually, he’d never cried ever. He’s had this bottled up for years, the loop’s contents were starting to wear out his mind and it finally exploded with immense force. Hysterical sobs wracked the frail boy’s body, causing him to shake even more. 

There were so many emotions going through Kaworu’s head at one time, he was happy to be in Shinji’s arms, but sad that it had to be like this. And he was angry at himself for crying in front of Shinji like this, but he was relieved to be getting this all out. It was almost sickening how much Kaworu needed Shinji’s love and care. He was so desperate for Shinji’s touch. He needed it.

——

The two just sat there, once Kaworu had stopped sobbing, he apologized profusely.

“Kaworu, it’s no big deal, you’re always there when I need it and I wanted to repay you for that.” He waved his hands.

“Shinji, I…”

“Yes?”

“Let’s go back to sleep.”

“Oh. Okay. If you want I can hug you more.” 

“I… I’d like that.” 

——

Kaworu found himself awake before Shinji, and seeing his sleeping face so close to his was almost surreal.

“I’m so lucky.” He whispered, being extra careful not to awake the boy sleeping next to him. He remembered that in all the other loops, Shinji either recoiled at the slightest touch, or was too broken to be touched. But this Shinji, however, was more open and welcoming to care. He was also more open to give care.

He looked so peaceful, and so cute when he slept, all the worry and pain being filtered out by the mere presence of sleep. He placed a chaste kiss on the brunette’s forehead, and nuzzled even closer to him.

“I… I love you, Shinji. So much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this mess!!! Feedback is okay and if you want to give me some, leave it in the comments!!!


End file.
